I took some (ahem) shoes in to the shoe repair place to get the heels replaced today. (Apparently, I’ve got some Dewey Cox in me…I walk pretty hard…bad joke…) Anyway, there were two haisidic (I can’t remember the actual name for the Jewish counterpart to Jehovah’s Witnesses, so I’ll just stick with that) Jews at the counter, and one of them asked me if I was Jewish, to which I replied “yes…well, half anyway”. Which sparked a brief exchange of light jokes about the strength of Jewish women…and then he gave me some literature, entitled “L’Chaim”, and a candle to light at some point tonight (exact time to be found in said pamphlet.) I respectfully put these gifts in my purse and left the shoe repair place, hearing behind me wishes to have a good Shabbat.
And when I got back to my apartment and turned on the lights, I actually felt a twinge of guilt about doing so, knowing that if an orthodox or conservative Jewish god were in fact looking over me, he would surely disapprove of me watching TV, talking on my cell phone, even turning on the lights. And then I realized that it was Friday. I’m safe till sundown! Whew!
Religion is exhausting. And I have always had a problem with organized religion, long before I could ever even articulate exactly what I knew was wrong with the whole thing. I believe I’m, right now, generally talking to a group of people who have been taught by our parents and teachers to question. To analyze. Not to take anything sitting down. And I suppose that’s what I’ve been trying to do as of late.
For example, we look at something like the Virgin Mary, the Immaculate Conception, and we say “that is impossible. That is absolutely biologically impossible.” And we’re right. Still, what I’ve just been through has kind of expanded my ideas of what is possible. Biologically possible? No. But eh. I suppose, in the grand scheme of the history of the world, something like that happening is…dare I say it…possible. But then I think about the whole story. Mary really could have just gotten caught up in a big web of lies that just couldn’t be undone once people believed it. Maybe she had a man on the side and didn’t want Joseph to know. I know, I KNOW how blasphemous this is, and for any devout Christians reading, I’m terribly sorry. I liked church when I went as a young girl. The music was amazing and everyone was really nice. Which I guess is a good reason to go to church.
We knock religion because it goes against everything our rational minds stand for. But what do WE believe in? Huh?
