My status message today

“It’s like bad timing and good intentions are busting in karma’s face” (That ain’t no quote, ladies and gents, that’s a Stephanie original. ba-ba-bam.)

Which means, well, whatever you want it to mean (ooooh, how postmodern of me.)

It means a few things in particular to me, but I don’t really feel like sharing them. I’m sharing that line because, one, I think it’s kind of funny. And two, it just might strike you in a similar way when you read it that it struck me when I thought it. And isn’t that the whole point of writing in a public space? In a lot of respects, it doesn’t matter what it means to me. I appreciate when people ask out of interest what I mean, but meaning is (again, forgive me for being so damn postmodern) so delightfully fluid that if I were to explain to you what it means to me, wouldn’t that take half the fun out of it?

Or maybe I’m just being annoyingly obtuse. Whatever.

 

I suppose…

…I should be focusing my energy here. (You were right, Carolina.)

This blog has kind of been all over the place. I know that. I also know that I’m writing about a lot of things that I know very little about. And how does that cliche go? Write what you know? Well, I don’t know all that much about anything. (My friends might say I know a lot about music. I guess I do, but I’m CERTAINLY no expert.) And I like to write. So I don’t know where that leaves me.

Maybe at some point I will find a focus that I feel confident in solely exploring. But until then, throwing my energy every which way feels right. So there.

Oh, and I’m watching my first Yankees preseason game right now. oh man, am I pissed that I missed this whole Shelley Duncan fiasco. (I still totally heart you, Shelley, don’t worry.) Seems the Devil Rays…excuse me: Rays…got a facelift. Doesn’t change the fact that they’re a starter team. (Two lower-mid-level stars don’t make you a real team.) Now, I may be (i.e. probably am) speaking too soon. October is a loooooong way away. But opening day is not! It’s BASEBALL season, people. yesssss.

 

Sunrise, A New Day, A Fresh Start, yea yea yea

Games can be dangerous sometimes. We play them, thinking that no one is going to get hurt. How could anyone possibly get hurt? It’s just a game! But treating life like a game can bring a lot of damage. I know that firsthand. And trying to repair that damage can be pretty exhausting. But I suppose the conclusion should be drawn that what’s done is done and there’s really nothing we can do about it. And talking helps up to a point, but there comes a time where you just have to say, “enough.”

I’ve been told I need to stop writing. But I can’t stop writing. Maybe I’m a writer. Who knows. Some of the things I’ve written may be scary to people. I don’t know. But I’ve been writing to myself for so long now. I don’t want to keep it all to myself anymore. And IIII think it’s kinda cool. A little crazy? Yea. Duh. But as my good friend David and I like to say, “boys are stupid and girls are crazy.” In some respects, anyway. But I also think that we’re all pretty smart, and the world is totally crazy.

So I (might) be taking another hiatus until I actually finish getting my shit together and can write about something that people actually care about reading. (Though it seems I’ve gotten a bit more popular in recent days. Go figure.)

So for now, laterrrrr.

and p.s. it seems that there’s a whole new generation of hipsters: the anti-hipsters. think about it. (more on that later, most likely.)

 

Lesson Learned?

Be careful with your actions and words, because you never know how people are going to take it.

OOOOOoooorrrrr,

Don’t take everything so damn personally.

Again, talking to myself here, mainly.

 

Who is ME???

To me@aol.com,

Please tell me who you are, if you are still reading. That comment you posted on my post about Armor for Sleep’s song “Williamsburg”, along with the linked video, and the fact that it was from “ME” for christ’s sake, really threw me, and this blog, for a loop. I’m curious. A little freaked out, yea. But now, more just curious, because I trust that your intentions were good. At least I hope your intentions are good. But then you delete the e-mail account? Weak. Stop with the mystery. You may not mean to, but it, combined with a few other things, felt like it almost killed me. I am not fucking around. I am shooting straight. This is what it is. I’m not blaming you. Everyone has their reasons, etc, etc. God knows there’s shit going on, in my head and in the world. But you really owe me. I’m just trying to show you that doing things like this is just not ok. What is this, Internet Terrorism? Ay ay ay, brave new world, indeed.

There are so many things that are out of our control. You can’t control everything. You just can’t. I can’t stop someone from dropping a virtual bomb on my blog. I guess I have to learn to be stronger? No. This is a lesson that YOU have to learn. Please. Do. Not. Fuck. With. People. People who do what you do are the reason the internet is so fucking scary sometimes. I WANT to trust that you meant well, but FUCK, how am I supposed to BELIEVE that? Totally sneaky.

That said, thanks for the compliment. I liked that post too. (though, I suppose it should be stated that I am not, in fact, a man.)

Or if anyone else might have a guess, I’d appreciate the tip. (see e-mail address on the”what is this blog about” page.)